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Coyote Bongwater
Coyote Bongwater (1929-1969) was a hippie guru from San Francisco. A popular religious leader who had many young hippie girls attracted to him, he was contacted by the KGB agents of the Soviet Union to spread an elixir called "Revelade" across the city to start a revolution against the United States government which would create the "Bay City Super-Organic Communal Collective and Compost Farm". However, he was killed under the Colt Bridge in 1969. Biography He was born in the city of San Francisco in 1929 and in 1947 was drafted into the US Army at the age of 18. As a private, he was stationed at The Wharf of the city and was honorably discharged in 1951. Having been in the service, he had a dislike of violence and, during the 1960s, he became involved in the hippie movement to advocate for free love, happiness, peace, and righteousness. He became known as "Coyote Bongwater", and hosted many meditation sessions at his home at Hashbury Avenue. In 1969, Bongwater planned for a righteous revolution using a powerful drink called "Revelade", which he stated was an elixir, but really erased "alien DNA" from human brains and also rotted the brain stem. A highly addictive and highly dangerous drink, its side affects were known only by the Soviet Union, who sent the KGB to distribute the drink in order to erase the Furon alien DNA from people's brains as well as to destroy San Francisco. Bongwater was uninformed of the destruction scheme and only wanted to make the people form the "Bay City Super-Organic Communal Collective and Compost Farm". He was supervised by KGB Agent Ivan Oranchov from Alcatraz, the KGB base. During one session, Bongwater was confronted by Cryptosporidium-138, a Furon alien who had survived the destruction of the Furon mothership by the USSR earlier that day. Bongwater invited Crypto to join his movement, but Crypto wanted to kill him to stop his lunacy and his cooperation with the Russians. However, Bongwater's KGB handlers rescued him and Crypto escaped. Paranoid, Bongwater decided to hide out under the Colt Bridge, while Crypto destroyed his operations and his Revelade-dumping blimps. Eventually, Crypto headed to the tunnel to track him down. Death Bongwater was guarded in the room under the bridge by KGB bodyguards, and Crypto had to fight his way through them. With his guards dying, Bongwater used a crossbow enhanced with drugs to attempt to drug Crypto, but he was mortally wounded by an exploding red barrel. He staggered to the radio, telling Agent Oranchov that he failed, but Oranchov responded by telling him that the city would be destroyed due to its degeneracy and that Bongwater's efforts to save America from capitalism would not be forgotten by the Communist Party. As Oranchov left the transmission, Bongwater lamented that he wanted to save America, not destroy it, and Crypto electrocuted him to death with his Zap-o-Matic. Soon after, Crypto cleaned out the KGB presence on Alcatraz and saved the city from the Russians. Category:1927 births Category:1967 deaths Category:Americans Category:English-Americans Category:Buddhists Category:Religious leaders Category:American communists Category:Communists Category:Yippies Category:KGB Category:People from San Francisco Category:People from California